Day 14234, & this one's just for fun...

So, I will probably get another post or 2 in before I leave for L.A., but this was just too funny not to share...

We have been getting a crazy number of scam attempts at the restaurant lately, as has everyone else. Relay calls (for the deaf) are a particular favorite, but emails are still popular too. I have no idea who actually falls for these things, but I assume there is a success rate, however small.

I received this the other day, twice:

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KELLY ANDERSON to jscott, nashville show details Oct 30 (3 days ago)

AM KELLY ANDERSON BY THE NAME I HAVE A BIRTHDAY COMING UP ON THE 13TH OF NOVEMBER 2010 AND I HAVE SOME INLAWS COMING,SO I WILL NEED SOME(CRAB CAKE) FOR ABOUT 150 GUESTS THAT ARE COMING SO CAN I GET THE PRICE PER PERSON AND THE TOTAL PRICE FOR THE PEOPLE TO FEED INDIVIDUAL BOXES VATEBOXES NOW SO I CAN GIVE YOU THE CARD TO CHARGE THROUGH SO CAN YOU MAKE IT FOR ME ON THE THAT DATE AROUND 2PM THE ORDER WILL BE PICK UP BY MY PRIVATE SHIPPER SO I WILL LIKE YOU TO GET BACK TO ME ONCE YOU RECEIVE MY MAIL OKAY AND I ALSO WANT YOU TO GET BACK TO ME WITH YOUR FAX NUMBER AND YOUR DIRECT NUMBER AND I ALSO WANT YOU TO GET BACK TO ME WITH YOUR MENU IF YOU DO NOT HAVE CRAB CAKE SO THAT I CAN GIVE GIVE YOU MY CHOICE AND IF YOU HAVE CRAB CAKE YOU CAN GET BACK TO ME WITH THE TOTAL COST SO THAT I CAN GIVE YOU MY CREDIT CARD TO CHARGE FOR EVERYTHING OKAY BYE FOR NOW STAY BLESS.
BEST REGARD
KELLY ANDERSON

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Not only did I receive this email twice at 2 different addresses, but there were 2 other restaurants copied into the address bar on each one.

I replied...

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Dear Ms Anderson,

First, let me commend you on your mastery of the English language. Obviously, this achievement would explain your use of all capital letters, as you are so excited to thrill us with your prose. Kudos.

Second, might I suggest that you do not copy more than one restaurant into the address bar at a time. It really makes your request seem less than valid. After all, with three restaurants copied here, it would imply that you needed crab cakes for 450 guests. That's a really big party! You must be very popular. I would assume that you are combining your birthday celebration with some sort of book release, as I have already commented on the fact that you are a gifted writer. I wish I was that talented and popular.

The cost of your crab cakes, from me anyway, will be $8,750,000.95. Unfortunately, I will not be able to accept your credit card information over the internet. This is for your own safety. We wouldn't want some foreign scam artist to intercept your personal information and use it fraudulently, would we? I will be happy to accept a certified bank check. We still have a few weeks for your birthday, so feel free to drop that in the mail at your convenience.

Given your loyalty to our businesses, I would also like to send you a birthday gift. Feel free to give me a hint about the special something that you have had your eye on for awhile. In this poor economy, I know that you have probably just been sitting on all your free cash, like the rest of us. Let me help you brighten your day. Just send me your home address and I will get that present right to you. If you can't think of anything, I am sure I can think of quite a few special things that you deserve.

Thanks again! Look forward to hearing from you!

Chris

p.s. FUCK OFF!

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So, there you have it. It is always important to hold onto your sense of humor...

Day 14223, & looks like chondromalacia of the patella...

So, I know that I was going to blog all about my marathon training.

Which road was rumored to be paved with good intentions?

Well, summer sucked. I don't do heat. Mentally, I hate heat. Physically, it would seem that my body isn't too fond of 90 degrees, either.

Then there was work. The never ending battle to be in control of my life has been a rough one, most recently plagued with some managerial drama that threatens my schedule every day. People often tell me how lucky I am to own my own business and dictate my own schedule. Ha ha! Mine is a schedule dictated by the whims of others, never by me...

And, let us not forget my new found activism. I just can't imagine where all the time goes. At least I don't have children.

Excuses, excuses...

Well, not really. A million things have gotten in the way of training. When does life ever go the way you plan it? Rarely, at best. We just have to trudge through the shit and move forward. I think I have done a pretty good job of that recently. I even ran my second half marathon last week, shaving 20 minutes of my previous time. It was a good race, despite my resolve to run it, as opposed to racing it. Sub 2 hours, check. Sub 9 minute miles, check? And I accomplished this while recovering from injury, again. A week of rest and my legs were good as new. The entire run felt great and it felt easy. Immediately, post run, however...

I did it though. I ran a strong run with a negative split. I finished ahead of the middle of the pack and I did it without really pushing too hard. While I stretched after, I tried to envision myself running the entire course again. Would I have the strength? How miserable would that feel? Seemed like something I could do, particularly if the reward was a breathtaking view of the California coastline and the promise of 26.1 beers with friends. Yeah, I can do it. Maybe not sub 4:00, but certainly sub 4:30.

And then, post stretching, I tried to stand up and walk.

So, yeah, I think I have runner's knee.

It started a several weeks ago in my left knee, but it went away pretty quickly. Two weeks ago, it returned in my right knee and seems to be settling in for a long, unwelcome stay.

I know what you're saying. Where did you study medicine? I answer with a simple: at the Google. You might also be saying, if you are one of those people, that it is only a matter of time and I am bound to screw my knees up with all the running. Well, maybe so, but I can't imagine a more serious issue would jump from one knee to the other. Additionally, I am guilty of all of the infractions listed as causes. And the symptoms? Dead on...

Meanwhile, I have 22 days until the marathon, my first. I am not going to miss it. The plane ride alone is worth the trip. I don't expect any possible circumstance beyond this coincidental equipment repositioning that will get me on Delta's 777LR. After all, Dubai is not on my itinerary. I need to run to justify my training, but I also need to justify the trip.

What to do... Three weeks. Let's see. Well, 7-10 days of that will be spent on the taper, leaving 12-15 days to train. Yesterday's planned 10 miles ended at an abrupt 8 because of the knee, resulting in a 2.5 mile walk home. The solution seems quite clear, and quite unappealing.

Elliptical machine.

No!!!

Looks like I will be going to the gym and spending countless boring hours on the sleep inducing, life sucking, elliptical trainer.

What doesn't kill me makes me stronger?

Hope so...

Day 14125, & I got my groove back, then promptly misplaced it...

So, I have been an independent restaurateur for almost 7 years now. Crazy, I know...

10 years ago, I would have told you that I was going to have several restaurants by 2010. 15 years ago, I was going to go to law school and leave the restaurant business behind.

I bailed on the law school thing for three reasons. First, I don't really do well with logic problems of the LSAT variety. I am an excellent standardized test-taker. Those problems though? They suck me in and I loose time when I start to obsess over a question. Second, I quickly realized that I was romanticizing the back-to-school experience. Law school was not going to be the financial walk in the park that undergrad was. After all, I don't think dad was really going to help me out by paying the mortgage and giving me a monthly allowance so that I could study more effectively by removing work from the equation. And, despite many a hint from me, he never offered up tuition money either.

Mainly though, I knew too many people that had gone to law school. And those people? Not practicing law. Hummm... What does that tell me? Well, at the time, it told me that practicing law isn't all that it is cracked up to be. And really, who wants to work 75 hours a week for a sizable paycheck that you can't spend because you never take a vacation or have time to do anything with your money?

So, I stayed in the restaurant business, where I worked 75 hours a week for 30-40K annually. Wait a minute...

The first few years of our first restaurant went so well that we knew we had to do it again. That process ended up taking quite a bit of time and result in restaurant 2 opening in worst economy of my memory. Clearly, if you've read my rants here, you know my life has been a struggle ever since.

Things turned around though at the beginning of this year. We started to see an upswing. It wasn't like we were taking home buckets of cash or anything; but, we did get to start taking paychecks again. The feedback got better and the renewed sense of optimism really created an entirely different atmosphere at #2.

Cue flood and summer....

Now we are back in the bad place again. It is hard to have a positive outlook when you bust your ass for nothing. At least, it seems like nothing. And while Jay and I take turns on the let's-just-give-up front, we seem to have reached the conclusion that we are both not allowed to stand on the cliff at the same time. Inspiring teamwork, if you ask me.

Now, faced with financial and staffing challenges, we are forced to focus, to re-think, to evaluate. I no longer think I am going to own five restaurants. I don't always want to own the two I've got. Sometimes quitting just seems easier. It's only money, right? It's just that the idea of risking everything again to open another is way too scary. Way too crazy...

Over the last few weeks of training, I have found myself feeling the same way about running. I struggle and push up my mileage. I see results. I panic at the idea of injury. I blame heat and humidity for failed runs. I.want.to.quit. But the quitting? Not my fault. The failure is not mine to own. Maybe I should have stuck with the law thing because nothing is ever my fault...

From the time I was a kid, I never thought I would be a runner, or any kind of athlete, for that matter. Even when I started running, almost two and a half years ago, I said that I could not ever imagine running a marathon. Why would anyone want to do that to their body? Why would anyone want to run for that much time? But, your outlook changes over time.

Last week was rough. I have all but discarded my original training plan. The time suck that is work seems to prevent any real plan from materializing. I just squeeze workouts in where I can. I seek motivation wherever I can. I just trudge along.

And every now and then, I find a glimmer of hope in a run. A strong 10 miler. A dreadmill recovery run that ends up turning into a 6 mile interval run. Even a cross training day that can be classified as nothing but the most boring, mindless, waste of time ever to exist can prove to be fulfilling, if for no reason other than the fact that I can say I did it.

I have learned that I run because I love it, despite the obstacles. It makes me happy. I will do whatever it takes to become stronger, faster. No matter how unpleasant, I will be glad that I did it when I come out the other side.

As Jay and I sat down yesterday to discuss all of our work related nightmares, I remembered why I am in this business. The problem solving makes me happy. The results are rewarding. I love what I do. Because my job? Being nice to people. Problem solving. That's a pretty easy job if you think about it.

Now is just another time to focus and make it through to the other side a little stronger.

Day 14116, & hit a bump in the road...

So, literally, I hit a bump in the road. Well, no, not literally. Actually, I was hit on the road by a car when it bumped into me while I was running. True story. But I'll get to that in a minute.

Do you want to know the hardest thing about marathon training? Time management. That is pretty much the do or die skill set needed to successfully train for a marathon. Now, I am sure we can all come up with a list of people who have very poor time management skills and have successfully completed such an undertaking. Those people though? Obviously, they possess an extraordinary skill or two that allowed them to squeak by without managing their time.

Me?

Time management master. I can handle everything I take on. Why set your self up for failure, I say. If you can't be certain you will succeed, then you probably shouldn't be trying it in the first place. You'll only embarrass yourself...

And then, some dickhead comes up and throws a wrench into your carefully mapped out time management plan and fucks up your whole delicately balanced life.

Yeah, you guessed it. Someone quit their job a few weeks back. Restaurant 2 lost a line cook and now everything has been turned upside down to compensate. So, restaurant 1 sends a kitchen manager to cover the line at #2, leaving #1 weak. So, #1 reschedules Chef to be around more in the evening, leaving me to cover the morning.

Why does this matter, you ask?

We all know that I cannot run in the afternoon, post work. Too hot!

How in the world am I supposed to get up at 4:30 am, wake up my legs and brain, run, get back home, stop sweating (which can take up to 45 minutes), get ready for work, and be there by 7:30? Well, it's actually not that hard, as long as I am not trying to fit an 8-10 mile run in there.

But, now throw in the fact that I might have been at work until 9 the night before. And that I cannot just rush home, jump in bed, and immediately experience quality rem sleep.

See my problem? How in the world am I supposed to be able to drink beer and still train for a marathon if all these dumbfucks keep screwing up my plans???

And remember- this is important- I started running so that I didn't have to cut back on the beer drinking. Voila! Full circle...

I am such the master storyteller...

Anyhoo, last week was ok. I made it work. And, then there was the "cold" front that came through. That always helps.

Sunday was a nice 4.ish something (I forgot to write it down)
Monday was the off day, as I had seen the forecast for the rest of the week
Tuesday, 6.25 miles
Wednesday, 1.7 miles of early morning garbage. My legs felt like overcooked pasta
Thursday, as if it was sent from heaven, was a perfect 10.4 miles, at 9 am, in the 70s, low humidity, with an average pace of 9:21, and a negative split.

And that is when I got hit by the car. Running by Vanderbilt, with the walk signal, I was reminded of how few people look to their right when turning right on red. Instinct took over fast and I jumped, thereby preventing the car from actually hitting me. Basically, I jumped onto the hood. Damn, those people looked scared as I ran off. It really was a hit n run...

Friday, I ran a quick 5.0 and it felt good after the long run that preceded it.

Friday night I decided to run the 4th of July 10K, my first race in two years. Note to self: DO NOT COMMIT TO RUNNING RACES WHILE DRINKING!

Saturday, knowing I had the race that I was completely unprepared and unrested for, still wanting my goal mileage for the week (which ends on Saturdays,) I ran a slow 3.75.

So, the weekly total was a little light at 31.5-ish but not bad.

And then the race...

I had to close the restaurant Saturday night so I didn't get out until 10. Got home, ate brown rice for dinner, and made it to bed by 11. Up at 4:30 for the 7:00 start.

I still wasn't overly concerned. 6.2 miles? Easy. Especially with my plan to run the first half comfortably and then barrel through round 2 (double loop.)

I won't go into the specifics of the poorly organized race. I had run this series before and it was far better then. I'll just say that I picked up my packet (which took almost 30 minutes,) rushed to stretch and warm up (which I hate doing that way,) and then waited for the race to start for way too long (7:20!)

Mile 1, 7:44
Mile 2, 8:08
Mile 3, 8:04
Mile 4, 8:56
Mile 5, 9:05
Mile 6, 8:55

See? I ran it just as I had planned! Only backwards...

I have never run a 5K, so at least I PR'd that one. According to Garmin, I was 24 and change for the 5K half, which put me 30 something-th. And, I did consider quitting then, but I barreled forward. I was glad to have finished, but it was miserable. I was not ready. I had overdone the mileage for a race week. Blah blah blah.

But, on the other hand, I PR'd it, however slightly.

Age: 12/23
Sex: 74/171
OA: 115/344

128 days to marathon. Have I mentioned, I have lost 15 pounds in the last 2 months? And that I need to go purchase some 31s...

Day 14102, & it is another scorcher...

So, it's freaking hot!

I hate summer in the South. There's no getting around it. OK, well, I didn't hate the last 2 summers so much. This one though? It just started and its been nearly 100 for the last four days. And, I probably would have hated the last couple of summers, too, had I been running much back then.

I picked the wrong week to start marathon training (and to quit sniffing glue.)

Anyway, I have 143 days to get ready for the Malibu Marathon. 20 weeks. Most of these weeks? Summertime weeks. Awesome...

Last week was a training FAIL. I started strong but I lost steam after sleeping past 6 one morning and missing the window of tolerable opportunity. I know, I sound like a wimp. Whatever! I can tolerate heat, some humidity, and glaring sun. I just don't like to have to tolerate all three at the same time. It's a lot like tolerating Reid, Pelosi, and Obama at the same time. Impossible! But if we just had to put up with two of them, I could probably deal. Anyway, mornings allow me to at least avoid the sun.

Yeah, so I overslept. I missed it and when I let the dog out it felt like I was opening an oven. Correction: it felt like a giant jacuzzi was emptying out all over me. Hot and wet. Gross...

What to do? Well, I did what anyone would. I joined the gym. The Y to be exact. And let me tell you, that shit ain't cheap. Quite a price to pay for a little shut eye. Sigh...

I needed to do it anyway. I need cross training options and now I have them. I haven't been in a gym in 2 years. I haven't been on a treadmill in over 2. But elliptical machines? Bikes? Yoga classes? Yeah, I need them; though, I have to say I really haven't missed the treadmill or the gym. Oh well...

I am now in need of a revised training plan. I'm thinking of going with an every other day run/gym routine, but it won't give me the miles I want. Oh, speaking of miles, I found someone doing the Hanson Brothers' Plan. A motivating read, and someone else gets to be the guinea pig...

That pretty much sums up a dull start to training.

Week one: 25.15 miles, five days
Week two: 26.12 miles, six days
Week three: 29.24 miles, six days
Week four: 19.83 miles, three days Boo!

This week, so far, I've gotten in 8.something miles and a really strong gym day today that included bike, elliptical, stairclimber, along with calf, glute, hamstring, and quad weights.

Tomorrow, I think I might be sore...

Day 14084, & I might have something to say...

So, It has been a really long time since I posted anything to this blog. As I have mentioned before, it seems that many blogs have been neglected over the last year or two. And while I am sure that we could do a psychological study on the effects of recession on one's creative endeavors, I'm just glad to know it's not just me...

Meanwhile, I have news.

I registered for my first full marathon. I will be running the Malibu International Marathon on November 14th, 2010. Yes, the day after my 39th birthday, I will be running this:

Now, I know what you might be thinking. Those hills look rough, especially after you've just run 20 miles. That would be the glass half empty attitude that I have been trying to break myself from. I am actually looking at this elevation chart and thinking that there is a little downhill reward after each of those inclines, not to mention a really long 2.2 miles downhill finish. See? Me? Half full...

I have to admit, I picked this marathon for a silly reason or two. First, it is in California. Good excuse to go west. Second, California, and LA specifically, will require a nice plane ride. Remember, I do love a nice long airplane flight. So, I redeemed A SHITLOAD of Delta miles for this:

This equipment is only used domestically on a few transcontinental flights. Since I don't see myself flying to Asia any time soon, I figured I'd take advantage of the opportunity. Plus, since Jay typically hates to fly, this provided him a bit more incentive to accompany me. After all, imagine what people would say about him if he didn't bother to cheer me on, witness my first marathon finish, or be there to collect my remains? Whatever the case, he's going...

On to the real reasons for this choice.

First, it is the day after my birthday. Ideally, it would have been the day before, but the marathon planners did not consult me. I would have preferred to complete a marathon at age 38 versus 39. Oh well. Plus, as I was born in Southern California, it only seems appropriate that I visit again for such an achievement. That way, if I die during the run, you all will be able to romanticize the story for all of your friends. I'm kind of selfless like that.

Secondly, there is the elevation chart. It is intriguing to me. The rise is nearly 200 feet and the hills are miles long. I don't even know what to think of that jagged, razor-like middle 10 miles. At the end of the day though, who doesn't want a 2 mile downhill finish, complete with airplane arms and all?

Most importantly, I picked it because I have plenty of time to train. I started with 6 months of time. I still have 161 days. I can allow for very gradual mileage increases, occasional cutbacks, and even a possible minor injury or two. What I have learned in the last two and a half years of running is that no matter how much I love the long run, it always hurts me. Too much, too soon. Apparently, the Hanson Brothers have discussed it extensively. Based on every injury I've had, It would appear that they are correct. No run should be more than 30% of my total weekly mileage. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So, yeah, I am back at this blogging thing, for a bit anyway. Up until now, I have consistently used the "no time" excuse to justify my neglect. I have often used that same excuse to skip a run.

No more time for excuses...

Day 13954, & blogging is hard...

So, maybe it isn't hard, per se; but, like exercise, it is a regimen that is very easy to dismiss.

Can I just get away with saying that nothing has happened?

No?

OK, first things first:




I have been wanting to go to Coachella for the last 5 years. My dearest friend Lori, along with her husband, have been inviting me out year after year and something always seems to get in the way (something equals work, more often than not) and I never go. This year, I decided that "Fuck it!" was the only excuse I needed. I bought my plane ticket to LA a few weeks ago and I used AMEX points to buy my 3 day Coachella pass. Lori's friend Brian, whom I met last summer at All Points West, will pick me up in LA and drive me out to Indio.

And then, well, there's the house, with the pool, in the desert. Of course, that doesn't suck. While the fact that I am the only one arriving solo pretty much relegates me to the couch, I assume it also obligates me to a very small chunk of the total lodging bill.

So, I really couldn't afford not to go to Coachella this year. It was an easy choice, despite being the 3 days before Jay's birthday, but that is a story for another post...

It was also easy to justify the trip after we made it through the 3rd semi-annual Restaurant Week in Nashville. I was riding a high as the owner of 2 restaurants with new sales records. I am sure you can imagine, that doesn't suck...

But, you know what does suck? The fallout.

I have made many a joke over the last 20 years about the one problem with working in restaurants. That problem, I always said, was the customer. You know the one. Person comes in, person asks for things, person expects everything to be right, person is condescending on occasion, person wears stupid Christmas sweater, blah blah blah. Annoying, right? But, now? Well, I realized, as any future owner would, that this customer, this guest, is also the reason for the rest of the things that were great about working in restaurants. They pay the bills, they tip the servers, they tell you how to do your job better. As a clever and sincere feedback collector, I basically get a performance evaluation everyday.

And then? Well, then came the internet...

The internet allows even the dumbest of people the opportunity to offer up their opinion on anything. The phase "knowing a little about a lot of things" comes to mind. They don't have to visit twice for a bad review. They don't have to offer up their opinion while being asked. They need not be bothered with any type of civil, proper, or professional discourse. No, no, no. Why bother allowing you to know what they think? Why bother to allow you the opportunity to correct the issue? Hell no! It is a whole lot more fun to go home and trash somebody's business on the internet!

Because, you know? I probably could have corrected that issue in 2 minutes with another steak (and I'm sorry about the gristle, but I didn't think to cut into your food repeatedly before delivering it to you). Had you allowed me that opportunity, I guess your post would have to rest on your actual writing. And well? We wouldn't want that, would we?

Don't even get me started on Yelp, Urbanspoon, etc. I remember the days when all you had to worry about was a food review. Now, it is a daily struggle. And, by the way, if your name in Anonymous, then you might as well jump out in front of a bus, because you are obviously too pathetic to live in the world with the rest of us. Feel free, in the meantime, to let me know where you work...

Don't get me wrong. If we fuck up, I will be the first to admit it. If something is bad, call me out on it. If I fail to correct an issue, write all about it. Just please remember that we are just a bunch of people that are trying to make other people happy. This isn't the motherfucking culinary jihad. If there is one going on out there, count me out!

So yeah, fuck it! I'm going to Coachella!

Now, I know why you are still reading this rant. You want to hear all about my running and how well I am doing.

Well, I picked running back up last September. I built my mileage up very slowly this time around. I started with time based out and backs. Run easy for 15 minutes, turn back. When that seemed inadequate, I started setting distance goals. I allowed for weekly increases of 10% or less.

I was so careful.

I stretched. I iced, I rested, I stretched some more. (if anyone even whispers the words cross training, I will punch you in the face!)

I registered for the ING Half Marathon in Atlanta in March and then bam! Injury! Awesome! Yea, me!

Fuck it! I'm going to Coachella!

I have been dealing with posterior shin splints in my left leg for 3 weeks. Self diagnosed, but all too familiar. Rest usually works, but how can I rest my calf during Restaurant Week?

Anyway, I am happy to be back on the road, so to speak. 3-4 miles, every other day, seems to be my current limit while the calf gets its act together.

So, it seems that blogging is indeed just like exercise. I will just sink back in slowly, avoiding injury, while I get my act together. I really doubt that you would have had any interest in sharing the misery over the last 12 months anyway...