Day 14223, & looks like chondromalacia of the patella...

So, I know that I was going to blog all about my marathon training.

Which road was rumored to be paved with good intentions?

Well, summer sucked. I don't do heat. Mentally, I hate heat. Physically, it would seem that my body isn't too fond of 90 degrees, either.

Then there was work. The never ending battle to be in control of my life has been a rough one, most recently plagued with some managerial drama that threatens my schedule every day. People often tell me how lucky I am to own my own business and dictate my own schedule. Ha ha! Mine is a schedule dictated by the whims of others, never by me...

And, let us not forget my new found activism. I just can't imagine where all the time goes. At least I don't have children.

Excuses, excuses...

Well, not really. A million things have gotten in the way of training. When does life ever go the way you plan it? Rarely, at best. We just have to trudge through the shit and move forward. I think I have done a pretty good job of that recently. I even ran my second half marathon last week, shaving 20 minutes of my previous time. It was a good race, despite my resolve to run it, as opposed to racing it. Sub 2 hours, check. Sub 9 minute miles, check? And I accomplished this while recovering from injury, again. A week of rest and my legs were good as new. The entire run felt great and it felt easy. Immediately, post run, however...

I did it though. I ran a strong run with a negative split. I finished ahead of the middle of the pack and I did it without really pushing too hard. While I stretched after, I tried to envision myself running the entire course again. Would I have the strength? How miserable would that feel? Seemed like something I could do, particularly if the reward was a breathtaking view of the California coastline and the promise of 26.1 beers with friends. Yeah, I can do it. Maybe not sub 4:00, but certainly sub 4:30.

And then, post stretching, I tried to stand up and walk.

So, yeah, I think I have runner's knee.

It started a several weeks ago in my left knee, but it went away pretty quickly. Two weeks ago, it returned in my right knee and seems to be settling in for a long, unwelcome stay.

I know what you're saying. Where did you study medicine? I answer with a simple: at the Google. You might also be saying, if you are one of those people, that it is only a matter of time and I am bound to screw my knees up with all the running. Well, maybe so, but I can't imagine a more serious issue would jump from one knee to the other. Additionally, I am guilty of all of the infractions listed as causes. And the symptoms? Dead on...

Meanwhile, I have 22 days until the marathon, my first. I am not going to miss it. The plane ride alone is worth the trip. I don't expect any possible circumstance beyond this coincidental equipment repositioning that will get me on Delta's 777LR. After all, Dubai is not on my itinerary. I need to run to justify my training, but I also need to justify the trip.

What to do... Three weeks. Let's see. Well, 7-10 days of that will be spent on the taper, leaving 12-15 days to train. Yesterday's planned 10 miles ended at an abrupt 8 because of the knee, resulting in a 2.5 mile walk home. The solution seems quite clear, and quite unappealing.

Elliptical machine.

No!!!

Looks like I will be going to the gym and spending countless boring hours on the sleep inducing, life sucking, elliptical trainer.

What doesn't kill me makes me stronger?

Hope so...

Day 14125, & I got my groove back, then promptly misplaced it...

So, I have been an independent restaurateur for almost 7 years now. Crazy, I know...

10 years ago, I would have told you that I was going to have several restaurants by 2010. 15 years ago, I was going to go to law school and leave the restaurant business behind.

I bailed on the law school thing for three reasons. First, I don't really do well with logic problems of the LSAT variety. I am an excellent standardized test-taker. Those problems though? They suck me in and I loose time when I start to obsess over a question. Second, I quickly realized that I was romanticizing the back-to-school experience. Law school was not going to be the financial walk in the park that undergrad was. After all, I don't think dad was really going to help me out by paying the mortgage and giving me a monthly allowance so that I could study more effectively by removing work from the equation. And, despite many a hint from me, he never offered up tuition money either.

Mainly though, I knew too many people that had gone to law school. And those people? Not practicing law. Hummm... What does that tell me? Well, at the time, it told me that practicing law isn't all that it is cracked up to be. And really, who wants to work 75 hours a week for a sizable paycheck that you can't spend because you never take a vacation or have time to do anything with your money?

So, I stayed in the restaurant business, where I worked 75 hours a week for 30-40K annually. Wait a minute...

The first few years of our first restaurant went so well that we knew we had to do it again. That process ended up taking quite a bit of time and result in restaurant 2 opening in worst economy of my memory. Clearly, if you've read my rants here, you know my life has been a struggle ever since.

Things turned around though at the beginning of this year. We started to see an upswing. It wasn't like we were taking home buckets of cash or anything; but, we did get to start taking paychecks again. The feedback got better and the renewed sense of optimism really created an entirely different atmosphere at #2.

Cue flood and summer....

Now we are back in the bad place again. It is hard to have a positive outlook when you bust your ass for nothing. At least, it seems like nothing. And while Jay and I take turns on the let's-just-give-up front, we seem to have reached the conclusion that we are both not allowed to stand on the cliff at the same time. Inspiring teamwork, if you ask me.

Now, faced with financial and staffing challenges, we are forced to focus, to re-think, to evaluate. I no longer think I am going to own five restaurants. I don't always want to own the two I've got. Sometimes quitting just seems easier. It's only money, right? It's just that the idea of risking everything again to open another is way too scary. Way too crazy...

Over the last few weeks of training, I have found myself feeling the same way about running. I struggle and push up my mileage. I see results. I panic at the idea of injury. I blame heat and humidity for failed runs. I.want.to.quit. But the quitting? Not my fault. The failure is not mine to own. Maybe I should have stuck with the law thing because nothing is ever my fault...

From the time I was a kid, I never thought I would be a runner, or any kind of athlete, for that matter. Even when I started running, almost two and a half years ago, I said that I could not ever imagine running a marathon. Why would anyone want to do that to their body? Why would anyone want to run for that much time? But, your outlook changes over time.

Last week was rough. I have all but discarded my original training plan. The time suck that is work seems to prevent any real plan from materializing. I just squeeze workouts in where I can. I seek motivation wherever I can. I just trudge along.

And every now and then, I find a glimmer of hope in a run. A strong 10 miler. A dreadmill recovery run that ends up turning into a 6 mile interval run. Even a cross training day that can be classified as nothing but the most boring, mindless, waste of time ever to exist can prove to be fulfilling, if for no reason other than the fact that I can say I did it.

I have learned that I run because I love it, despite the obstacles. It makes me happy. I will do whatever it takes to become stronger, faster. No matter how unpleasant, I will be glad that I did it when I come out the other side.

As Jay and I sat down yesterday to discuss all of our work related nightmares, I remembered why I am in this business. The problem solving makes me happy. The results are rewarding. I love what I do. Because my job? Being nice to people. Problem solving. That's a pretty easy job if you think about it.

Now is just another time to focus and make it through to the other side a little stronger.

Day 14102, & it is another scorcher...

So, it's freaking hot!

I hate summer in the South. There's no getting around it. OK, well, I didn't hate the last 2 summers so much. This one though? It just started and its been nearly 100 for the last four days. And, I probably would have hated the last couple of summers, too, had I been running much back then.

I picked the wrong week to start marathon training (and to quit sniffing glue.)

Anyway, I have 143 days to get ready for the Malibu Marathon. 20 weeks. Most of these weeks? Summertime weeks. Awesome...

Last week was a training FAIL. I started strong but I lost steam after sleeping past 6 one morning and missing the window of tolerable opportunity. I know, I sound like a wimp. Whatever! I can tolerate heat, some humidity, and glaring sun. I just don't like to have to tolerate all three at the same time. It's a lot like tolerating Reid, Pelosi, and Obama at the same time. Impossible! But if we just had to put up with two of them, I could probably deal. Anyway, mornings allow me to at least avoid the sun.

Yeah, so I overslept. I missed it and when I let the dog out it felt like I was opening an oven. Correction: it felt like a giant jacuzzi was emptying out all over me. Hot and wet. Gross...

What to do? Well, I did what anyone would. I joined the gym. The Y to be exact. And let me tell you, that shit ain't cheap. Quite a price to pay for a little shut eye. Sigh...

I needed to do it anyway. I need cross training options and now I have them. I haven't been in a gym in 2 years. I haven't been on a treadmill in over 2. But elliptical machines? Bikes? Yoga classes? Yeah, I need them; though, I have to say I really haven't missed the treadmill or the gym. Oh well...

I am now in need of a revised training plan. I'm thinking of going with an every other day run/gym routine, but it won't give me the miles I want. Oh, speaking of miles, I found someone doing the Hanson Brothers' Plan. A motivating read, and someone else gets to be the guinea pig...

That pretty much sums up a dull start to training.

Week one: 25.15 miles, five days
Week two: 26.12 miles, six days
Week three: 29.24 miles, six days
Week four: 19.83 miles, three days Boo!

This week, so far, I've gotten in 8.something miles and a really strong gym day today that included bike, elliptical, stairclimber, along with calf, glute, hamstring, and quad weights.

Tomorrow, I think I might be sore...

Day 13817, & another year...

So, I wrote about my 9/11/01 experience 1 year ago.

Sadly, my little protagonist is no longer with us.

Happily though, little Violet is now one year old. She is pretty great.

I am pretty sure that she liked her Auntie Chris, too.

My point? what is it? Oh yes, things change.

There have been quite a few changes over the last 12 months for me. My business footing, my running, my sanity. All changed. I have a tendency to play the victim in much of this change. I have a tendency to dwell in self pity.

On this day though, I have to realize that it is not so bad. My troubles? Minimal. My struggle? Trivial. I am not the victim of circumstance that I like to pretend. On this day, we remember what it really means to be a victim of circumstance.

And while I might think that I deserve to bitch, complain, and wallow in my self pity, I need to suck it up and move forward. Because some people? Some people have a lot tougher than I do.

I have never met Joe, but I have been friends with his wife since college. I read through some of this blog today while I drank my coffee. And then it hit me. I am sitting on my couch at home, drinking coffee, watching TV, and reading. My life? Not as bad as I might think.

So, I am going to try to hold onto this perspective throughout the year. It is not something to be remembered only once every 365 days.

Meanwhile, here is another picture of Violet. Why? Because she is adorable. And? Because she makes me smile.

Cheers!

Day 13592, & here I am...

So, I just missed the one year anniversary of this blog.

I started writing on January 25, 2008. I used to post quite a bit more frequently. I used to feel like I had something to say.

My how things change...

I would like to make it official. I am now a victim of the failing economy. No, we are not going out of business. Yet. However, a Wachovia snafu with the developer of our building is messing up my cash management plan.

Let me say this. I hate banks. I especially hate LARGE banks. I bank at the Delta Community Credit Union. I cannot stand that we are sucked into the financial debacles of the floundering banks simply by association. Bitches!

Now, all said, I wouldn't really mind any of this if we were busier. In fact, a bit of default on the landlord's side would be quite handy in the long term. If we were busy, many of my worries would dissolve. But, we're not busy. We are the exact opposite of busy.

Imagine, if you will, how much it would suck to work 70 hours a week, every week. I know, I know. A LOT of people work this much on a regular basis. I have not had to do this since 2004. I have gotten spoiled. Meanwhile, imagine working 70+ hours, with absolutely nothing to do.

You see, a restaurant is a very boring place to be if there are not many customers dining in it. It leaves me with nothing but ridiculous amounts of very slowly moving time to think about how much food we are going to throw away this week. How much open wine are we going to lose? How much is this week's payroll going to hurt? How much business is our other restaurant doing?

Fortunately, the answer to the last question: quite a lot. Even more of my confusion is caused by the fact the the other place has proven to be quite recession resistant. Otherwise, this post would be a farewell post as I skipped town for a new life out west.

Ernest Turnbuckle, by the way, should you need to find me. Just don't tell anyone...

So, I have hired a PR company. That should help. And, the food critic's review should appear in next week's Scene. The jury is out on that one. I can usually tell, but I have no idea what she will have to say. Either way, free press is free and it is press.

Finger's crossed.

Meanwhile, it dawns on me that as I hit one year on the blogscape, I am also due for a running anniversary sometime soon. Though, I have to wonder: Can you have an anniversary after a nearly three month hiatus? Or, is it really more of a starting point? I have a feeling that my first attempts at regaining momentum will be met with much frustration and difficulty. And, I really hate difficult. Although, in the world of physics, I should have an easy time maintaining momentum, what with all my newly rediscovered "mass"...

Well, I can just sit back and hope that things begin to stabilize in the sooner, not the later. I can only hope that people decide to come in and try the pretty restaurant on the corner with the fabulous view of Nashville.

I can only hope I can maintain some level of sanity until we make it through all this.

Come on, 2010!

Day 13507, & brace for impact...

So, that might be a bit dramatic.

First let me say, I never drank the Kool-Aid.

That said, I don't despise our president elect.  I am just not sold on his plans.  I will also say that 2 years ago, as Jay and I planned for our new business venture, I did not envision this kind of CHANGE.  Had I spoken to one of Dionne's psychic friends, I might have done things differently.  I might have made different choices.

I am not going to be a sore loser.  Yes, I said loser.  I voted the other way.  I voted with my business and my employees in mind.  I voted fiscal.  Call it selfish, but I call it realistic.

Those of you who are blue are probably still thinking that I am crazy for my choices.  I am not going to defend them.  I am not going to rethink them.  They are, after all, my choices.

Likewise, I am not going to criticize the choices of my blue friends.  I am actually going to hope that they are more visionary than I can be.

Meanwhile, I absolutely refuse to call this a "revolution."  The connotations of that word, to me, are too extreme.  I find that term offensive when used by people who only have themselves to blame for their situations.  Trust me when I say I know quite a few...

I will hunker down and hope for the best.

P.S. The company holiday party is cancelled in leiu of my anticipated 2009 tax burden...

Day 13424, & I love to eat foot...

So, I basically whined my way through my last post.

I am not apologizing.

Just acknowledging.

And feeling a bit guilty.

I am upset about soreness.  But.  There are worse things.  I promise.

And no, I am not talking about how hard it would be to run if I had flipper feet like some people.  BTW, of course, I AM jealous!  Who isn't?

Anyway, I went and got new shoes today.  What kind?  The same.  Once again, I went to Robert for shoes, and free medical advice.  I discussed my speed issues.  He discussed the flaws in my training plan.

Everybody is different.  Everyone has an opinion.

Mine?

Take Nat's and Robert's opinions and mush them together, along with my own training plan.

NO MORE YUCHY SPEED WORK!

Yea, me!

Not really, but sort of.  Robert said I wasn't getting enough recovery time.  Nat said I just needed to avoid injury.  I explained to Robert that my goal was only sub 4:00.  I also explained that I was now counting on race day magic and mostly the fact that Nat would be bossing me through the whole race, I hope.

His thoughts?

Well then, listen up!

Dammit!