Day

Friday, July 16, 2010

Day 14125, & I got my groove back, then promptly misplaced it...

So, I have been an independent restaurateur for almost 7 years now. Crazy, I know...

10 years ago, I would have told you that I was going to have several restaurants by 2010. 15 years ago, I was going to go to law school and leave the restaurant business behind.

I bailed on the law school thing for three reasons. First, I don't really do well with logic problems of the LSAT variety. I am an excellent standardized test-taker. Those problems though? They suck me in and I loose time when I start to obsess over a question. Second, I quickly realized that I was romanticizing the back-to-school experience. Law school was not going to be the financial walk in the park that undergrad was. After all, I don't think dad was really going to help me out by paying the mortgage and giving me a monthly allowance so that I could study more effectively by removing work from the equation. And, despite many a hint from me, he never offered up tuition money either.

Mainly though, I knew too many people that had gone to law school. And those people? Not practicing law. Hummm... What does that tell me? Well, at the time, it told me that practicing law isn't all that it is cracked up to be. And really, who wants to work 75 hours a week for a sizable paycheck that you can't spend because you never take a vacation or have time to do anything with your money?

So, I stayed in the restaurant business, where I worked 75 hours a week for 30-40K annually. Wait a minute...

The first few years of our first restaurant went so well that we knew we had to do it again. That process ended up taking quite a bit of time and result in restaurant 2 opening in worst economy of my memory. Clearly, if you've read my rants here, you know my life has been a struggle ever since.

Things turned around though at the beginning of this year. We started to see an upswing. It wasn't like we were taking home buckets of cash or anything; but, we did get to start taking paychecks again. The feedback got better and the renewed sense of optimism really created an entirely different atmosphere at #2.

Cue flood and summer....

Now we are back in the bad place again. It is hard to have a positive outlook when you bust your ass for nothing. At least, it seems like nothing. And while Jay and I take turns on the let's-just-give-up front, we seem to have reached the conclusion that we are both not allowed to stand on the cliff at the same time. Inspiring teamwork, if you ask me.

Now, faced with financial and staffing challenges, we are forced to focus, to re-think, to evaluate. I no longer think I am going to own five restaurants. I don't always want to own the two I've got. Sometimes quitting just seems easier. It's only money, right? It's just that the idea of risking everything again to open another is way too scary. Way too crazy...

Over the last few weeks of training, I have found myself feeling the same way about running. I struggle and push up my mileage. I see results. I panic at the idea of injury. I blame heat and humidity for failed runs. I.want.to.quit. But the quitting? Not my fault. The failure is not mine to own. Maybe I should have stuck with the law thing because nothing is ever my fault...

From the time I was a kid, I never thought I would be a runner, or any kind of athlete, for that matter. Even when I started running, almost two and a half years ago, I said that I could not ever imagine running a marathon. Why would anyone want to do that to their body? Why would anyone want to run for that much time? But, your outlook changes over time.

Last week was rough. I have all but discarded my original training plan. The time suck that is work seems to prevent any real plan from materializing. I just squeeze workouts in where I can. I seek motivation wherever I can. I just trudge along.

And every now and then, I find a glimmer of hope in a run. A strong 10 miler. A dreadmill recovery run that ends up turning into a 6 mile interval run. Even a cross training day that can be classified as nothing but the most boring, mindless, waste of time ever to exist can prove to be fulfilling, if for no reason other than the fact that I can say I did it.

I have learned that I run because I love it, despite the obstacles. It makes me happy. I will do whatever it takes to become stronger, faster. No matter how unpleasant, I will be glad that I did it when I come out the other side.

As Jay and I sat down yesterday to discuss all of our work related nightmares, I remembered why I am in this business. The problem solving makes me happy. The results are rewarding. I love what I do. Because my job? Being nice to people. Problem solving. That's a pretty easy job if you think about it.

Now is just another time to focus and make it through to the other side a little stronger.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Day 14116, & hit a bump in the road...

So, literally, I hit a bump in the road. Well, no, not literally. Actually, I was hit on the road by a car when it bumped into me while I was running. True story. But I'll get to that in a minute.

Do you want to know the hardest thing about marathon training? Time management. That is pretty much the do or die skill set needed to successfully train for a marathon. Now, I am sure we can all come up with a list of people who have very poor time management skills and have successfully completed such an undertaking. Those people though? Obviously, they possess an extraordinary skill or two that allowed them to squeak by without managing their time.

Me?

Time management master. I can handle everything I take on. Why set your self up for failure, I say. If you can't be certain you will succeed, then you probably shouldn't be trying it in the first place. You'll only embarrass yourself...

And then, some dickhead comes up and throws a wrench into your carefully mapped out time management plan and fucks up your whole delicately balanced life.

Yeah, you guessed it. Someone quit their job a few weeks back. Restaurant 2 lost a line cook and now everything has been turned upside down to compensate. So, restaurant 1 sends a kitchen manager to cover the line at #2, leaving #1 weak. So, #1 reschedules Chef to be around more in the evening, leaving me to cover the morning.

Why does this matter, you ask?

We all know that I cannot run in the afternoon, post work. Too hot!

How in the world am I supposed to get up at 4:30 am, wake up my legs and brain, run, get back home, stop sweating (which can take up to 45 minutes), get ready for work, and be there by 7:30? Well, it's actually not that hard, as long as I am not trying to fit an 8-10 mile run in there.

But, now throw in the fact that I might have been at work until 9 the night before. And that I cannot just rush home, jump in bed, and immediately experience quality rem sleep.

See my problem? How in the world am I supposed to be able to drink beer and still train for a marathon if all these dumbfucks keep screwing up my plans???

And remember- this is important- I started running so that I didn't have to cut back on the beer drinking. Voila! Full circle...

I am such the master storyteller...

Anyhoo, last week was ok. I made it work. And, then there was the "cold" front that came through. That always helps.

Sunday was a nice 4.ish something (I forgot to write it down)
Monday was the off day, as I had seen the forecast for the rest of the week
Tuesday, 6.25 miles
Wednesday, 1.7 miles of early morning garbage. My legs felt like overcooked pasta
Thursday, as if it was sent from heaven, was a perfect 10.4 miles, at 9 am, in the 70s, low humidity, with an average pace of 9:21, and a negative split.

And that is when I got hit by the car. Running by Vanderbilt, with the walk signal, I was reminded of how few people look to their right when turning right on red. Instinct took over fast and I jumped, thereby preventing the car from actually hitting me. Basically, I jumped onto the hood. Damn, those people looked scared as I ran off. It really was a hit n run...

Friday, I ran a quick 5.0 and it felt good after the long run that preceded it.

Friday night I decided to run the 4th of July 10K, my first race in two years. Note to self: DO NOT COMMIT TO RUNNING RACES WHILE DRINKING!

Saturday, knowing I had the race that I was completely unprepared and unrested for, still wanting my goal mileage for the week (which ends on Saturdays,) I ran a slow 3.75.

So, the weekly total was a little light at 31.5-ish but not bad.

And then the race...

I had to close the restaurant Saturday night so I didn't get out until 10. Got home, ate brown rice for dinner, and made it to bed by 11. Up at 4:30 for the 7:00 start.

I still wasn't overly concerned. 6.2 miles? Easy. Especially with my plan to run the first half comfortably and then barrel through round 2 (double loop.)

I won't go into the specifics of the poorly organized race. I had run this series before and it was far better then. I'll just say that I picked up my packet (which took almost 30 minutes,) rushed to stretch and warm up (which I hate doing that way,) and then waited for the race to start for way too long (7:20!)

Mile 1, 7:44
Mile 2, 8:08
Mile 3, 8:04
Mile 4, 8:56
Mile 5, 9:05
Mile 6, 8:55

See? I ran it just as I had planned! Only backwards...

I have never run a 5K, so at least I PR'd that one. According to Garmin, I was 24 and change for the 5K half, which put me 30 something-th. And, I did consider quitting then, but I barreled forward. I was glad to have finished, but it was miserable. I was not ready. I had overdone the mileage for a race week. Blah blah blah.

But, on the other hand, I PR'd it, however slightly.

Age: 12/23
Sex: 74/171
OA: 115/344

128 days to marathon. Have I mentioned, I have lost 15 pounds in the last 2 months? And that I need to go purchase some 31s...